Tuesday, November 8, 2016

Into the early morning of November 8th.

"You can build walls all the way to the sky and I will find a way to fly above them. You can try to pin me down with a hundred thousand arms, but I will find a way to resist. And there are many of us out there, more than you think. People who refuse to stop believing. People who refuse to come to earth. People who love in a world without walls, people who love into hate, into refusal, against hope, and without fear. I love you. Remember. They cannot take it." (Lauren Oliver)

Tomorrow there are going to be a lot of hurting people, a lot of children with dark skin who are afraid, a lot of parents not knowing what is next for their families, a lot of anger, a lot of uncertainty. So tonight I am more determined than ever to wake up tomorrow and love harder than ever before - love like I live in a world with no walls, love in a way that pushes down boundaries. I'm determined to defend the vulnerable and overlooked more fiercely than ever before, to stand steadfast in the face of injustice and hate, to be brave and kind and humble. To further peace and integrity and character. To run after the left out and unheard, as Christ runs after us. To protect the foreigner and minority, to seek equality and justice with all that I am. To further the Kingdom. To listen, to believe, to hope. To help forge a new Way, bring Christ's Gospel of reconciliation and redemption into every corner of our broken society. We as the Church have a lot of work to do - in the coming years, our country will need us more. Though it may be hard going at times, my friends, though it may cost us something - onward and upward, steadily.

To those who are afraid, who are hurting, who feel scared tonight - "I love you. Remember. They cannot take it." You are seen, you are heard. I have your back, always.

Election night.

I can't believe it. I just can't believe it. I literally feel sick. So much anger, brokenness, fear in our country that led to this.
But Christ is still on the move. Clinging to him right now. We have a lot of work to do, Church.

Election 2016!

I voted 2 weeks ago so I didn't get a sticker ;( But I obviously wore red, white and (navy) blue today to celebrate #America and #democracy and the peaceful #vote, so this is my #votie! I've already teared up several times today...thinking about the fact that we might have our first woman president (no matter how you feel about her, the fact that we couldn't even vote less than 100 years ago and now have a leading candidate who's a woman....moving and historic); seeing people in lines to vote and holding signs, thinking about how powerful it is that our voices truly make a difference; thinking that no matter who wins, we will have a peaceful transition of power. This is such a rare and beautiful thing, and even though it's been a rough election cycle, I'm so thankful for our country. I'm spurred on by all these #deepfeels, and feeling more passionate than ever for tomorrow, the day after the election- to continue to work for the change needed in our culture and systems, and to make our politics better.

As a follower of Christ, my greatest hope lies not in a certain party or candidate or ideaology- my hope lies in the redemptive power of Christ. And I cant wait to work to bring more of his powerful love and reconciliation into our world, including into the broken areas of our culture and politics. I am genuinely excited -there is reason to be hopeful, friends! We can help shift things- let's seek the Kingdom first above any party or fear, let's help form a new option, a new Way. No matter the outcome tomorrow, I'm excited to continue "onward and upward"... It's a new day to serve, to love, to bring hope and change.



Monday, November 7, 2016

So tomorrow - VOTE

So my son will not grow up with a president endorsed by the KKK, so the most vulnerable in our society are not overlooked and threatened, so we have a President that hasn't sexually harassed women and children, so we have someone in the most powerful office in the world who has self-control, so racism and ignorance and cruelty aren't promoted from the highest office in our country.....and for so many other reasons - PLEASE go vote. Please do not sit this one out because of frustration with our system or current choices. Let's do what so many around the world wish they had the opportunity to do: use our voices to help bring about a peaceful transition of power, and then continue to use our voices to push for the change we want to see in our culture and politics. The brokenness and troubling ideologies (extreme individualism, concern for my rights, my comfort, my freedoms, MYSELF, at the expense of connectedness and the welfare of our brothers and sisters, etc) in our political system, our culture, and our churches are so much bigger than just one candidate and one horrendous election. But let's take advantage of the opportunity we have tomorrow to vote, and then continue to use our voices to work for deeper, systemic, lasting change.
So tomorrow- please vote (unless you're like me and already voted!). Not along party lines, not because a certain candidate has made you afraid, or because you've heard them use catch phrases like "pro-life" and "religious liberty." Let's make sure to look at facts, to look at policies and character and track record. We must think through if an email server is as big a deal as having someone in office who brags about sexually harassing women, who mocks anyone different from him, who has pledged to implement policies that would hurt the most vulnerable. We must think through if we want someone leading our country who has filed for bankruptcy multiple times, cheated people out of millions, and avoided basic civic duties for decades.
As followers of Christ especially, we must think deeply about these things. We must vote for the candidate who is actually more pro-life, who will do more to protect ALL life; to help children after they are born as well as prevent unplanned pregnancies and other situations that lead vulnerable women to seek out abortions in the first place. We must vote for the candidate who will prevent issues that lead to poverty and situations that lead to unnecessary bloodshed. As followers of Christ, we must not vote out of a fear of losing our own comforts and privileges, when Christ actually tells us to not be concerned with those things - even to give them up (so I think concerns over religious liberty might actually be the opposite motive for how Christ would wish us to vote). As followers of Christ, we must think deeply and prayerfully about whose policies align more with Kingdom-principles (justice, reconciliation, equality, truth, compassion...), and under which candidate we will better be able to do the work God has called us to do.
(And quickly, if you're thinking of voting 3rd party - that is entirely within your right, and I respect that decision. BUT - if you live in a swing state, it's important to be aware of how 3rd party votes may benefit one of the two major candidates, and the impact that may have on the outcome of the election).
I am purposefully not aligned with any political party - but I'm really passionate about politics, because politics is about doing what's best for PEOPLE. As a follower of Christ, I am commanded to love others, to put others before myself, to further his Kingdom, to act justly and love mercy, to speak to truth to power, to help fix areas of brokenness and expose false ideologies where I see them. For all these reasons, I'm passionate about followers of Christ being involved in politics and in the public sphere, not to further a religious agenda but for the welfare of all. The Gospel of Christ should be the center of every part of our lives, including our political and public lives, and should lead us to speak out against injustice and lies, to work for change and further Gospel-truth and Kingdom-principles of justice, redemption, reconciliation, and compassion.
I'm praying for wisdom for all those heading to the polls. Vote- then join me in praying and acting to move our country forward after this election, getting to know those who are different from us, listening to those who are angry and hurting, addressing the cultural, spiritual and political issues that led to where we are today, and helping show a better Way. Onward and upward, my friends.

Saturday, November 5, 2016

Baby things!

Stephen and I are starting to get our baby room organized (we've gotten so many sweet gifts and donations from people already!), and we went to get a couple decorations for the room last night. Stephen obviously got superhero paraphernalia, and this beautiful wooden thing/board was my pick. Definitely started crying in the store thinking about putting this in his room (#deepfeeler life, amiright?).....Adoption is hard and there's a lot to still figure out, but not even a question- it is SO WORTH IT. We so badly want you in our family, baby boy. You are so, so loved already




Sunday, October 30, 2016

Rest

Picture from the top after a breathtaking trail run/hike in Ouray, CO (Literally- it was extremely intense, as well as extremely beautiful). So thankful for friends, mentors and, most of all, a husband who remind me of the importance of REST to better be who God created me to be and do what He has called me to do.




Wednesday, October 26, 2016

Feeling a bit overwhelmed.... #ADOPTION

Sooooo...I'm feeling a bit overwhelmed...Aaaaaaand we don't even have our baby yet. #Adoption #amiright?! I knew going into this that it would feel like this at times, and ultimately, I know it's good. I know it is through times like these that I'm brought closer to my Savior. But gosh, it's HARD. I've been feeling especially overwhelmed the past few days...there is just so much to do, so many logistics to take care of, paperwork, books to read, hoops to jump through for our agency, things to do to prepare to have a child - and an adopted minority child at that.

I daily have to repeat truths to myself (or listen to Stephen or friends as they repeat them to me....): God is providing us a SON; He is sovereign; He equips; we have the honor of loving and raising this child; God is making us partners with Him in His plan of redemption; it is an exciting and amazing and joyful season He is bringing us into. These are beautiful truths and I believe them and rejoice in them. I DO. But my anxious mind also so quickly goes to the fear of the unknowns, all the things we need to figure out, all my fears about parenting and the uncertainties of adoption....I literally don't know what the future looks like yet for my career, or what trauma our baby might have from his time in-utero, or how I find the racially and culturally diverse community and mentors our son will need, or how I am going to parent well when there is still so much I don't know...

And what will I do when - because I know it is not if, but WHEN - my son asks why people look at him because he is a different color than me. Why he is treated differently. Why there is such division in our country and our own community because of the way we look. My heart already aches thinking about these questions.

BUT - when my mind starts to spin, our God so quietly and graciously reminds me of the Truth: He is sovereign, He is above all, He is holy, He is kind.

And He is LOVE. But His love is not the simple emotional feeling we often associate with that word. His love is active, holy, powerful, it moves, it fights for us, it is sharp as a sword. It is a reconciling love. And I believe it is this love that fills Stephen and me, that transforms us and spurs us on, and that is preparing us even now to be the parents we are called to be. Our God moves with fire and power, and He but asks me to "be still, and know that I am God." (verse) The same God who breathed the stars into existence and who overthrows kings to defend the weak is the same God who walks with ME. All He is asks of me is that I be willing to follow him, to love as he loved, to go where he calls - trusting in his power to do more than I could "ever ask or imagine."

My prayer is that God would help me do this. And that despite the mistakes we will make as parents, that He would take us and refine us and use our little family to be a small example of His reconciling and redeeming power. That in our weaknesses, He will be made strong. That He would become greater in us, and we would become less. I BELIEVE He is designing our family purposefully and intentionally, and WILL equip us to be the parents He has called us to be. I might never feel in control or that I'm fully prepared - but that's not what He's promised me. He's promised that He will be with me, that He will strengthen and equip me, that in my weakness, He will be made strong. And that is enough.

I KNOW my God is alive, he is love, and he will work his beauty and magic in our lives and our story will play out exactly as it's supposed to. So I'm looking at this sonogram picture of our TINY little baby and marveling that God created this child for US. I cry a little most days, of course (#deepfeeler), thanking him for this life, and consciously making the choice to say YES, I am willing...willing to go where you lead, to love as you love. Then I pray some more for the faith and the strength to actually trust him above myself....and I pray for the day we'll get to bring our baby home and hold him in our arms and love him with all we are, through His mighty and fierce love in us.

Tuesday, October 25, 2016

Our true Helper

It's really important that as followers of Christ, we're thoughtfully and prayerfully voting, making the best decision we can, using the blessing of democracy to help further Christ's purposes. But it's also important to remember this:

"When Jesus said he would send us a Helper, he was not referring to Donald Trump or Hillary Clinton. Let's keep our eyes on the prize, church" (Michael Wear)
Our salvation will never be in a political candidate. Reassuring to remember in these crazy times :) One day, Christ will return and make all things new. Let's do the best we can now, looking forward to this day:
"And when God comes, he will open the eyes of the blind and unplug the ears of the deaf. The lame will leap like a deer, and those who cannot speak will sing for joy! Springs will gush forth in the wilderness, and streams will water the wasteland. The parched ground will become a pool, and springs of water will satisfy the thirsty land." -Isaiah 35:5-7

Monday, October 24, 2016

Hope

One of my biggest prayers through this election season. Come on, Church. We are meant to be more.

"Could this be the year God rips off partisan blinders, strips away political idolatries, and plants the seed of a new prophetic witness? Hope." (Trevin Wax)

Thursday, October 6, 2016

He came to make us BRAVE


"When the calling of God is scary, we lead by remembering that Jesus did not come to make us safe; He came to make us brave."
-Gary Haugen