Guest Post: The Story of Jane
October 23rd, 2012 by Blythe ScottEDITOR’S NOTE: This is the second in a four-part series by Blythe Scott, the City Partnership Coordinator at The District Church located in the Columbia Heights neighborhood of Washington, D.C. In this series, Blythe examines what it means for the Church to strengthen and restore families.
Oh Blythe, I’m so excited I’m going to cry! No one has ever thrown me a baby shower before. No one has ever done all of this for me.” – Jane*Jane is a dear friend I met last year, and someone I have grown to deeply care for in just a short period of time. She said these words to me after a few friends and I asked if we could host a baby shower for her. Needless to say, Jane was overwhelmed that someone – anyone – would do something like this for her.
Her reaction leads me to this question: “What can the church do to strengthen and restore families?” I acknowledge that this is a big question, but by sharing Jane’s story and my relationship with her, I hope I can demonstrate that this is a question that is worthy – one that demands – the Church’s attention.
From a young age, Jane grew up in several different places, frequently switching between the care of her biological mother and father. At age twelve, her mother introduced her to drugs and at fourteen, she became involved in prostitution. She then went to live with another relative, but continued with drugs and prostitution until her thirties when she checked into rehab. I met her while volunteering at the local drug and alcohol rehabilitation facility where she resided at the time.
I invited Jane to church one Sunday, and she kept coming back. Over time, we developed a friendship and she joined my small group at church. As our friendship grew, Jane and I reached a new level of trust. Last year, Jane confessed to me that she was pregnant with her fifth child (the other four are currently in the custody of different relatives). She was scared, and certain she wanted to give up her child. But together, we met with one of the church pastors. It was during this time that I witnessed God using my pastor’s and my relationship with her to begin to change her heart and mind. Through that meeting, Jane decided to go through with her pregnancy, and is very excited about her new role as a mother. And when Jane asked me if I would pick her up from the hospital after having the baby, I realized that it was because I am the one that she relies on to be there for her.
Through our friendship, Jane comes to me for advice, has been able to ask questions about faith, and eventually made the decision to get baptized. She told me she is re-thinking what love really looks like. And my relationship with Jane has truly been just as life-changing for me, as I’ve walked with her through her tough questions, her pregnancy, and now motherhood. It is through our relationship that I’ve seen God’s amazing grace and deep love in whole new ways, and have grown so much in my own understanding of God’s character. Although hard at times, I am so excited to continue walking with her, supporting her, loving her, and learning with her. I can’t wait to see how God’s amazing grace will continue to play out in her life.
This is where the Church can fill holes: by being Christ to people and strengthening future families in the process. There is enough need all over the world that all of us who make up the Church are called to seek out consistent relationships with others. This is not to undervalue how hard, uncomfortable and discouraging it can be at times. My relationship with Jane has been one of the hardest – but also one of the best and most refining – parts of my year. It hasn’t been easy; our experiences, mindsets, and outlooks could not be more different! However, I believe that God calls us to have relationships with people who are different from us – because our differences. He calls us to be involved in the broken situations, the tough relationships, and the relationships with people who are different from us because He knows that through these relationships both people are refined.
I feel like God has taught me just as much through Jane as he has taught her through me. God has allowed me to truly disciple her and influence her life and her family, as I have learned to be open and vulnerable with her.
To strengthen a family means walking alongside them in love, truth and grace. It’s not always easy, but it’s how God calls us to join Him in furthering His Kingdom on this earth - and it's how we are able to glimpse more of His beautiful redemption unfolding before our eyes.
*Name has been changed to protect the identity of the individual.
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