the Year

the Year

This has been a year where I have been broken and stripped. I’ve been made weak so He can be made strong. And I think I’m finally getting to that place, where He is becoming greater and I am becoming less. I am truly desiring His voice more than my own. But it took a year of hurt and heartache to begin to get to this point, and through it God has shown me so much. And now because of all that I’m here, able to write about the AMAZING GRACE and LOVE of Christ because I have truly experienced it. I’m not writing as one who knows about it in her head, but one who’s believed it in her heart, one who’s been picked up by it when she’s never thought she’s be able to get up, one who’s clung to His grace when she lost everything else, one who’s heart has ached so much that only a Divine justice could overthrow the conquering hurt.

I’ve realized that its not about ME. Despite what I’ve thought for so long, my life is really just not about me. We go through pain not because we’ve done something horribly wrong or God wants to teach us some huge lesson about our lives – it is just for HIS purposes. Whatever they may be. And He s worthy of that. He’s finally getting me to the place where I am broken enough that my perspective is actually starting to change and I am seeing the word outside myself. And there is a big world outside myself. He is real. And He desires all people to know His love, all people to see His glory. So His hand will work all things for that purpose. And that might even mean pain sometimes. I feel like my eyes are being opened to this whole world that I didn’t even know existed, this world that is not about me and what I can do to affect the world and how the world is going to affect me, but simply about God’s great purpose for this earth and the small way in which He may be able to use my life to show that purpose. And I’m realizing that maybe to show His great purpose, his great LOVE to this world, I might have to go through pain so God can be glorified through it. He redeems all things, even the horrible messy things I do, and instead of God bringing something wonderful for me at the end of every situation in my life, maybe His purpose is to simply redeem me back to Him. Simply to show how His love is greater than any evil, any sin, any pain. To show that He redeems even the worst of sinners.

He redeems me. That is the whole purpose. Not some great life lesson or wonderful treat for me for making it through. There’s no amazing twist that helps me understand why certain things happen and certain things must be lived through. Just the promise that He redeems. That His love brings me back. And through this redemptive story being seen yet again in this fallen world, maybe just one more soul in this despairing world will see this Love that never fails, this love that only brings us closer to Him when we fall, and maybe this soul will surrender its pain as well and give glory to the Father. This is His purpose. This is the way of things. And after everything, it’s all I need to know.

Because when He spins me around to see from His perspective, I finally have PEACE.

Dissatisfaction

It’s been a while since I’ve been able to post something on here – life has been crazy. This past year has been a time where God has humbled me and broken me and finally gotten me to a point where I will listen to Him and not my own voice. My eyes have been opened to so much because now I’m actually listening. I’m still in the process of sorting it all out and processing everything He’s been changing in me and showing me, but here’s a little bit of it. It’s mostly just a thought process, things God’s been making clear to me that I’m processing through writing, so forgive me if it’s jumbled and confused. But here it is, a little bit of the change that God has been working in my heart:

So, two main thoughts to consider –

I have been wrong. Wow. Huge to think about.

And: What needs to happen?

Elaborating a little bit:

I just don’t this is the way the world is supposed to be. I think maybe it’s time to consider that we might be wrong, and it might be time to try to figure out what needs to happen.

God desires something so much better for us all. But we, His people, His church, are not pursuing that Way. Not really. I don’t think most of us are purposefully not pursuing it. We’ve just been so influenced. By our culture, by those around us….we’ve gotten off track.

But if we want the world to change and for things to be different then we have to LIVE DIFFERENTLY. God has called us to be a people set apart. We can have all the missionaries we want doing all the wonderful things they’re doing, and we can have Christians in government making good laws, but until the Gospel is truly lived out then not a whole lot is really going to change. The way things are right now, our Christian culture as a whole, is WRONG. It seems to me that the way we are living in America isn’t just wrong, it is a SIN. Where in the Gospel does it hint that it’s justified for us to worship God in church a few times a week and be content with that, with living our daily lives while we know millions of our brothers and sisters are suffering? That is not the Gospel. It is NOT. Despite what our pulpits preach today, the personal salvation and a prosperous life do not encompass the glory of the Gospel of Jesus Christ. The purpose of our lives is to bring glory to God. Our purpose is to bring His salvation into this world and work to make it the way He created it to be. Our purpose is to bring this earth that much closer to Him, to His perfect intention. We have lost sight of that. Our Christian culture has grown to reflect our American culture; they have become one and the same. No matter how great America is, the nation God intended His people to be a part of is GREATER. And they are very different. They should look different.

Nowhere in the Word does it indicate that once one comes to know the Lord, one should sit and be content with life. On the contrary, throughout the Old and New Testaments, we see God commanding His followers to “bless the nations,” to “go out and baptize all people,” to “feed and clothe and bring justice to the poor and needy.” We are created to bring God into the world, not to just be content with God in ourselves. There is a huge second half of the Gospel that the majority of Christianity today has left out: after personal salvation comes the good works that true faith produces. Out of salvation comes service to God, comes a life dedicated to His purpose and will. NOT a life that reflects the very culture our faith should deliver us out of, not a faith that perpetuates the culture that leads to the pain and destruction of so many. There is a quote that’s been sticking out to me a lot lately: “If you’re content, then you’re not paying attention.” If we are content as Christians in our world today, then I would say we do not truly know the Gospel. Christ says if we do not help the least of these, then we do not help Him (Matt. 25:31-46).

"Through the Justice Revival we want to help redefine what it means to be a Christian disciple so that thousands of Christians will understand that they can't be good followers of Jesus without also committing to Jesus' agenda, which includes feeding the hungry, welcoming the stranger, clothing the naked, giving care to the sick, and visiting the prisoner" (Matt. 25:35-36).
-Rich Nathan

Our Christian culture today tells us, rather it is preached to us, that it is fine to know Jesus in our hearts and know prosperity with our lives. But the Gospel tells us if even one of our brothers or sisters is in need and we do nothing, then we don’t know Him.

For our world to be changed, we need to be changed. Unless there is a significant shift in our Christian culture and the Church begins to truly live out the Gospel of Christ, our world will not be changed. I can go into government and try to make all the laws I want to help people, but unless the hearts of the people are into keeping these laws, then they will not make much of a difference.

My heart is breaking looking around me – God has given us the ability to SPEAK. We are the blessed and disgustingly small percentage of people in the world that have the FREEDOM and the MONEY and the MEANS to speak and act. We can speak for those who can’t speak for themselves. Why do we keep silent? God’s heart must be breaking. We have the great honor of speaking of His great GLORY and SALVATION, yet we are SILENT. He has chosen US to be His hands and feet, US to bring His GLORY to all people. Yet we hide His glory behind our comfort. People are dying without ever knowing the love of Christ while we worry about if we can get the dress we want to wear for Easter. Our Christian culture must reflect the politics of Jesus, not the politics of America. This MUST happen. The world is suffering. And we are NOT RIGHT. We must get past our pride and our comfort and seek TRUTH. Seek the image of God. Seek His face. Seek His will. If we do, we will find that we are WRONG. We are sinning by sitting. If we claim to know Christ and believe His Gospel, then we are called to live differently. We will all live out His Gospel in different ways, according to the different gifts and talents He has given each and every one of us, but we are ALL called to live it out. What would it look like if every follower of Christ truly lived set apart? How different would our world look?

“It is useless to dream of reforming the socioeconomic structure...as long as there is not a correspondingly deep change in our inner selves.”
- Dom Helder Camara
Brazilian Catholic archbishop

“Christ died so that we might live. Now we are to die so that Christ might live.”

-Shane Claiborne, Jesus for President

So how do we actually bring about this change that needs to happen? Ultimately, WE need to be changed first. We need to die. That is what we are called to. Not call ourselves Christians and then live the lives we think God would want us to live in this day and age. We are called to completely die so that Christ might completely live the life He wants to live through us. We need to be convicted. We need to be filled with Christ's vision for this world and His kingdom. Until our core is broken and we begin to see only what Christ sees and truly have His vision for this world, then our actions aren’t going to change much. People telling you to do something will only push you to do so much. Our hearts need to be convinced. We need to be convicted. We need to see with Christ's perspective instead of our own. And that won’t happen until we realize that the right way may not be the way we see through our eyes and DIE to that way, to that vision. Then HIS Way will finally be the Vision we see and the Way we seek to bring into the world. Then when we’re changed, we can spread the change. Think, talk, question. Start acting. Start living differently. See what the Bible says about how we as the Church should live, then lets start doing it. Lets not be a part of this culture and this world. Lets actually live like Christ: lets love the hungry and the sick and the oppressed as if they were Jesus standing on our streetcorner, lets not care about trying to dress and talk like everyone else, let our hearts actually break for those who try so hard to find satisfaction in the things of this world and not stay silent around them any longer, let us desire to see people know the love of Christ more than our favorite football team win the game or political party win the election…

Please join me in praying. Pray for us to be humbled enough that we might begin to hear other voices beside our own. Praying for conviction and for His definition of the Truth, for our death and His life. Pray for us to truly LIVE, to live like Christ and live in Christ.

“He must become greater; I must become less.”
-John 3:30

"Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come!"
-2 Cor. 5:17