less than a month...

So I’m getting married in less than a month – crazy! A lot of people have been asking me if I’m getting cold feet yet. If I’m nervous, scared, anxious. But it’s so different than that and it’s so hard to explain why. These last few months have actually been so GOOD. But not good because it’s fun or easy – good because this time is PREPARING me. Preparing me to be a WIFE. The more impatient I get, the more I am reminded of how crucial patience is in a marriage. The more annoyed I get at the little things, the more I am reminded of how essential grace will be in my marriage. The more I see how selflessly Stephen loves me, the more I realize how desperately I want to love him like that – every second of every day. So yes, I’m grateful for this time. Grateful that I have the time to be sanctified, to seek Christ every day and learn more every day how to be like Him. He has already changed me so much – I’m not doing the job or internship I’ve desired to do my whole life, because for the first time I’m beginning to want to serve someone else more than myself. I want to be there for Stephen more than I want to have my own career. Through Stephen, God is showing me how love works: loving someone more than yourself is so much BETTER. For the first time, I am not worried about the future, what exactly I’m going to do with my life and how I’m going to “change the world.” What God requires of me is to love Him with my whole heart, and then love others. And through my relationship with Stephen, He is teaching me to do that. And because I’m actually beginning to love someone more than myself, I’m so much more at PEACE – I know God will use the love, grace, and partnership Stephen and I share to do so much more in this world than my meager little plans could have ever done. It really is loving others that changes the world. And all we have to do is look to the cross, to the life and death of Christ to see what it looks like to truly love. And I’m so excited for God to continue to train my eyes to look to Him, so that in marriage I can be the best example of Christ’s love that Stephen will see on this earth.