I've recently decided to officially accept the position of Outreach Coordinator for my church, The District Church (TDC), through doing TDC's Leadership Residency Program. One of the main ways God confirmed for me that this is where He wants to use me over the next year is that when I read statistics like the one below, I feel my heart start beating three times faster than normal:
"The US has 138 million church attending Christians, generating 2.5 trillion in annual income, spending 97.5% on themselves" (LIVE58, http://live58.org/)
If you’re reading this blog, you probably agree that this is WRONG. If not, please respond to this post so we can chat :)
It is reading things like this that MOVE me. That literally move me to tears. To prayer. And to think, within about 2 minutes after I read this, "What are you calling me to do, God, to change this?" This is how I know God has clearly led me to work for The District Church. For as long as I can remember, I have felt pain - sometimes unhealthily - for anyone who is hurting. Whether it is thinking about a second grader getting picked on by the bully in his class, a girl who does not feel loved and protected by her parents the way she should, a young woman who is deceived by the words of a man, whole groups of people who are dying because their government abuses its power...whatever it is, my heart has always ached for the lesser, for the least, for the one who is hurting or forgotten. Even when the CNN newscaster has moved on from that particular news item, or the group of people I am with has changed the topic of conversation, or my husband is done with his story about his student, my mind dwells and my heart feels. Sometimes it is not good. Often, actually. It is not good because if I am not mindful of my tendencies, my sinful nature quickly takes all the world's problems and makes me feel the weight of them, burdening me to the point of nausea, exhaustion, and anger at God.
But when, as Stephen and others are helping me do more and more and as God continually trains my mind, I take this heart that God has given me and I give it back to Him. I feel, then I pray, then I think and I listen. I am learning to trust that God has made me the way I am for a reason. And that He HAS already acted powerfully in the world through the death and resurrection of His Son, and that He will continue to act in this world His Spirit in us. He will act. I am to trust that He has made me who I am for a reason and that He will use how He has made me to help accomplish HIs redemptive purposes in this world.
So as I learn to trust Him, I learn to trust that if I am seeking Him, what I feel deep in my soul is probably from Him: if I feel righteous anger at the fact that so many are suffering while so few of us have so much, then God is probably calling me to address that! I feel more confident than ever that He has given me the passions I have so that I can help change the statistic above. I feel so pulled to help the Church, Christ's own Body, His representation on this earth, truly live differently. Truly live the way He has called us. Truly live justly.
We are meant to live justly in this world - so different from the norms that our materialistic and individualistic culture dictates - so that God's heart of justice is seen and those who are the "least" become our equals. We should live as if all were the brothers and sisters we have grown up with and love dearly – not live like it is normal to see other human beings starving to death while we are content with excess everything.
This is my passion, and this is where TDC comes in. At TDC, I will be mentored by others who will help me learn how to teach, equip, and mobilize the Church to live differently. I will learn more of who God is and how He desires us to live in Him, and I will learn how to better lead others to know Him deeper as well, through word and action. I will learn how to serve, lead, and unify. I just can’t wait to learn. To learn more about Christ, how to live in Him, and how to daily give back all He has given me and to help others do the same, so that one day the statistic above will not even be believed.
Saturday, August 27, 2011
Sunday, August 21, 2011
Thinking less of me
I haven't written in a awhile. Although there has been no shortage of things I've been thinking about and itching to sit down and write about, I have purposefully taken the times I would have written to instead spend more time thinking and praying through things. I am quick to write, to speak, to get my thoughts out there. But God has been impressing on me more than ever the incredible importance of sitting in HIs presence, of listening, of praying through things, of truly seeking His truth and being content to wait for an answer - not always feel like I have to give an opinion or an answer.
As I've been intentionally focusing on listening, on waiting, and just in general on God and not myself, He has led me to see the beauty in this prayer and to make it my own:
"O Divine Master, grant that I may not so much seek to be consoled, as to console; to be understood, as to understand; to be loved, as to love"(prayer of St. Francis)
I've realized that so often the things I am quick to write and say, often even the things I say to God, are out of a desire to be known, loved, justified, understood, etc...it is for me, about me, focused on me, my life, my purpose, my reputation...and as I’ve been learning to think of the Father more, of the beauty of Christ and the reality of His glory, of His selfless love and what that love means for my life, I have begun to realize in new ways that my purpose is to love, console, understand, think of, and pray for others - I just don’t need to be the focus. And I have become happier, more joyful, more peaceful, more in love with God than ever, the less i have focused on myself and the more I have focuses on what He has created me for: loving Him and love others. Praying for others to live in the same peace I know in Christ. Thinking less of my own reputation, happiness, and status, and desiring love for others. So this is my prayer now daily, my desire for my life: God, grant that I may not so much seek to be consoled, as to console; to be understood, as to understand; to be loved, as to love."
As I've been intentionally focusing on listening, on waiting, and just in general on God and not myself, He has led me to see the beauty in this prayer and to make it my own:
"O Divine Master, grant that I may not so much seek to be consoled, as to console; to be understood, as to understand; to be loved, as to love"(prayer of St. Francis)
I've realized that so often the things I am quick to write and say, often even the things I say to God, are out of a desire to be known, loved, justified, understood, etc...it is for me, about me, focused on me, my life, my purpose, my reputation...and as I’ve been learning to think of the Father more, of the beauty of Christ and the reality of His glory, of His selfless love and what that love means for my life, I have begun to realize in new ways that my purpose is to love, console, understand, think of, and pray for others - I just don’t need to be the focus. And I have become happier, more joyful, more peaceful, more in love with God than ever, the less i have focused on myself and the more I have focuses on what He has created me for: loving Him and love others. Praying for others to live in the same peace I know in Christ. Thinking less of my own reputation, happiness, and status, and desiring love for others. So this is my prayer now daily, my desire for my life: God, grant that I may not so much seek to be consoled, as to console; to be understood, as to understand; to be loved, as to love."
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