There are moments throughout my day where I feel like my heart is going to burst - I want so badly to help every hurting child, hold anyone who is alone, stop any evil from happening. My heart aches for this. I feel it so strongly that I can't sit still and end up walking in circles in my office thinking and praying. I feel excited because I KNOW deep in my bones that these desires are from God....He created us for MORE than we see now. He created us to desire all to know the freedom that comes from His salvation. To desire peace and justice and the world to be made right. He created us for this other world, and so it is only right that I yearn for it now. And I know He is at work even now advancing His Kingdom, binding up wounds and healing hearts and destroying evil. And it is so exiting that we get to be a part of this. I think this is why I'm always wanting to do MORE and dreaming and having ideas and feeling hopeful, even when there are heartbreaking things happening in my life and around me. I am so thankful for this hope God gives me - gives all of us.
But the hard part is that there ARE still heartbreaking things happening around us. We can't heal every wound and stop every injustice from happening and protect every hurting child. Because we aren't Jesus. One day HE will make all things new. One day all will be as it should. We can see little glimpses of heaven, of His kingdom, of glory right now - through the salvation He offers us, through how He moves in lives and works justice in the most unjust places. I am so thankful for these glimpses. And those moments when I am pacing my office or sitting overwhelmed in my apartment (sorry Stephen) and just want to DO and GO and ACT, I need to remember that we are living in the "now and not yet" - the God of eternity is moving in us and among us to further his purposes, but his Kingdom is not here yet.
So until it is, I will run "further up and further in" (Narnia reference of course), doing the little part He asks me to do, seeking to love fiercely and wholeheartedly each day, by His power. And those moments I can't sit still and my heart aches for more, I'll focus on those glimpses of glory I see now - through what God is doing in my own life, through the beautiful lives of my friends and family and the church as a whole, all over. And I'll remember that He is coming soon to bring all creation to completion.
Then I'll get back to work. (Or go to bed, depending on what time of day it is.)
