Let's make two cities into one

Drove through SE DC on my way down to my parent's house in VA yesterday afternoon with my last load of stuff. We are now on our way to Colorado....but I wanted to pray over this part of my city as I'm driving through it one more time. The "two DCs" that my pastor always talks about are so real and it is heartbreaking to see. And we as the Church cannot be ok with it. Thankful to have been a part of a church community the past five years that talks about this reality and the injustices that exist in our city, and that seeks to change things. Thankful for the example of so many who are breaking barriers and cycles, seeking to make one DC, where all have the same chance and all know about the full life God has for them.

Friends, let's not grow weary in doing this work. As the Church, we are called to lead the way in fighting the evils that keep 50% of the kids in our nation in poverty, that cause so many to live lives of hopelessness. My heart is so burdened for the kids I know personally, and for so many others. In any neighborhood in our country, there are kids lost in cycles of darkness and anger...who do not know the full life God desires for them so they turn to gangs, violence, ISIS....continuing cycles of darkness and anger and poverty and abuse. We must continue to cry out for these kids. Intercede on their behalf. And ACT to show them the hope that exists, the hope for a beautiful life and a glorious future....the hope that they can know their Maker and help change the world. Let's be willing to go out of our comfort zones and know these kids in the "other" parts of our cities. Let's bring them this message of hope. 

I will always be praying for this city that will always have a special place in my heart....and for my friends who are continuing to do amazing work to break down walls and bring more of God's Kingdom to earth. Excited to continue this work in Colorado.

Offer HOPE

What makes me the most sad/angry/scared about ISIS is that they are better at making death look attractive to young people than we are at giving them hope for life. Let's invest in our communities, in our neighbors, in our schools, internationally (if that's where God calls us) and give our kids HOPE for the life God has given them - and for true life beyond this world. My heart longs to show the hopeless kids all around me - and the ones I see on the news joining ISIS in droves - that there is such an exciting, wonderful life they can have NOW, that they are part of an adventure and a calling beyond themselves, that they are made for a better world. As CS Lewis puts so well, when his characters finally get to the new world (heaven):
 

"I have come home at last! This is my real country! I belong here. This is the land I have been looking for all my life, though I never knew it till now. The reason why we loved the old Narnia is that it sometimes looked a little like this...Come further up, come further in!”

Let's show the hurting, angry hopeless kids in our world that they are made for more in this life - that they are made for LIFE and not for death. And let's invite them further up and further in to the beautiful, eternal story of which they were CREATED to be a part.

The Planned Parenthood video and what makes me angry

The other day, right after I had a conversation with a friend about the fact that there are children living in unsafe situations right now because there are not enough good foster homes to place them in, I got on Facebook and saw my newsfeed covered with angry status' on Planned Parenthood and abortion - but nothing about the everyday state of so many children in our own neighborhoods. Why don't we get as fired up about the number of children who are living in abusive situations this very moment, who are going to sleep lonely and hurting, who are dying of hunger, as we do about a video on Planned Parenthood?

Why is there this inconsistency? If we call ourselves pro-life, we must be pro ALL life. I do not think abortion is ever God's desire- but if we're serious about stopping it, an angry post on Facebook isn't going to do it. It takes going out of our comfort zones, forming relationships with those in our community, getting to know families and mothers and dealing with the messy, hard root issues that exist all around us.

Friends, I am angered by abortion as well - but I am just as angered by the issues that lead so many women to get abortions in the first place, and our failure (especially as the Church) to recognize that we MUST address these issues whenever we address abortion. And I am just as angered by the fact that there so often seems to be an inconsistency in what we get fired up about. We cannot get fired up about abortion but not the fact that there are THOUSANDS of children in our own country who are not being removed from unsafe situations simply because there are not enough good foster homes in which to place them.

Especially if we call ourselves followers of Christ, we must get angry when ANY life is not protected and given the chance to live life to the fullest. As Christians, we must be posting and talking and ACTING on our calling as the Church to mentor, to provide safe homes for children, to invest in teen moms, to partner with hurting families in our neighborhoods. And we must be honest about our failure much of the time to care about these realities as much as the reality of abortion, and pray seriously about how we can change this. I am so encouraged by so many who are leading the way in showing what it looks like to care about all life equally, from conception to grave, and my earnest prayer is that we as the Church would continue to move in this direction, following God's heart as we work for justice and show compassion for ALL life. I pray that we would not be manipulated by our media or culture as they so often try to politicize one issue over another, but that we would see the full picture of what it means to be pro-life -  to love children before they are born and after.

I would love any thoughts or reflections on this - but I'm not posting this to start a debate. I'm posting this because I felt compelled to share some of the things I've been reflecting on the past couple years, as I've grown increasingly convicted about the fact that we (very much including myself here) - especially those of us who claim to walk in the love of Christ - must think deeper about what it looks like to be pro-life in all areas.

Leaving DC, and standing firm

We're not supposed to save the world.

I've known this theoretically - but of course I've still tried. And failed. And gotten exhausted and discouraged and weary and broken-hearted. As this cycle has repeated many times over the past few years, God has gently reminded me over and over that it is He who saves, and all he asks of me is that I simply be willing to be used by him, whatever that may look like. He asks that I just stand firm, and watch him work wonders around us and in us and through us (2 Chronicles 20:17). THIS is how the world is changed: we are called to stand in Him, to stand for the broken, to stand in love and just and mercy, to stand in faith. 

"You will not have to fight this battle. Take up your positions; stand firm and see the deliverance the Lord will give you..."

There is a lot of darkness in the world, and it is really hard to not let that overwhelm us. Throughout my time in DC, I've seen it firsthand. A little boy I love is not in the best situation, despite everything I tried to do for him and his family. I saw the injustice and brokenness in our social systems, our culture, and our government through this situation. My heart broke - and still breaks - when I think of him and miss him. And when i think of so many precious children like him. I struggle to get out of the darkness a lot of days, if I'm being honest. I hurt so much for God's children, his people, who are suffering, who are in darkness, who do not know Him and the life he desires for them.

I've tried to get out of this darkness on my own, and rid the world of darkness on my own as well. I've tried - and still try sometimes, because I'm me - to save the world myself. And it doesn't work. This is not my battle to win. It is His strength, His power that is stronger than the darkness. It is his power that changes things - and I've seen it. My power has failed many times, but I've seen his power do beautiful things. Though everything is not how we wish it would be after our years here in DC, we have seen God work miracles where we could not. We have seen how he loves his children so passionately, and where he used us to be his hands and feet when we had nothing left in ourselves. We have seen him fight. In him, we have hope. 

His power is stronger than the darkness we see all around us. He has saved us and is continuing to work even now, furthering his redemption and mercy and justice. It is not on me to save all the kids in my city or all the people in the world. It is not on me to drive out all the darkness. Christ has already defeated evil and he is at work today driving the darkness back. It is in His power that the world is changed. What God calls me to do is stand firm in Him, acting in His power, moving in his grace. He just asks that I be willing.

So that is why we are picking up and moving across the country. We feel God calling us to Colorado, so we go. He asks that we be willing to be used by him, to be available to go and do whatever he asks of us - to follow His heart to the ends of the earth, no matter how far or how hard. It is a beautiful thing that God desires to use US to further his hope and redemption - to help change the world. We are not hopeless OR helpless - we can join him in moving throughout this world, in pushing the darkness back. So even though we're not exactly sure of all the details of this next season, that's ok. God doesn't expect - or want us - to have it all figured out. He just asks us to be willing to follow Him, wherever he leads. To love through the darkness. To show his light to the world. He is making and will one day make ALL things new -though much of the world is dark and uncertain, we follow him.

"The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it." (John 1:5)

This summer I'll be leaving DC a little older, a lot less confident in myself, a lot more confident in my Savior, and more passionate than ever about our role as Christ's followers in standing with Him in His work. In Him, we have hope for deep and lasting change, and we are called to help bring this change to the world through His power in us. One day we WILL see Him face to face. My heart burns for that day.  Until then, I passionately seek Him and seek to love as He loved, whatever that looks like and wherever that leads.

Practically, God is already opening doors and making things clearer: We've always had a pull to CO, to the mountains, to be in a place where both of us experience God, his hope and rest and holiness in a deeper way. The work we both feel called to do can be exhausting and it can be easy to get burned out - so a big reason we feel led to CO is because we'll be near creation, near places that energize us, so that we are better able to pour ourselves wholeheartedly into what we are called to do.

We also are deeply passionate about helping others experience the hope of Christ - and have a vision to do this through starting some type of school or camp near the mountains someday, with a focus on outdoor leadership development and sports. We desire so deeply for kids who have never experienced the hope of God when looking at the majesty of the mountains to have a chance to experience that.

In the next few years though, Steve and I are both excited to continue to learn and grow in the gifts God has given us and the areas we feel Him calling us to serve, in our new community in CO. Stephen has already been offered a job at one of the best national charter schools, and will be joining the amazing team at KIPP Denver this fall. I can't wait to see him continue to love and invest in children inside and out of the classroom, and to see all that he will learn through this new job.

I am still figuring out exactly what I will be doing in this new season - and I'm ok with that, which is huge coming from this big-picture, visionary person, who has been trying to change the world since she was 10 :) To not know all the details of what's next, to recognize I don't have the control or the power to save...it's scary. But it's good, because that controlling, fearful, prideful part of me has to die (before the resurrection can happen, there has to be death). To be made more like Christ, these parts of me need to die. I know there will be days I'll continue to try to do too much on my own, where I'll fail to trust in God's power - but as Ann Voskamp says, each time I'll learn to fail a little better: "Learn how to die daily…Try again, fail again, fail better."

I can't know all the details, none of us can. But even as God has been teaching me how little I can truly do on my own, he has also been strengthening the passions and visions He has given me  - and helping me understand how to truly hope and rely on his power. So although I don't know all the details, I am more sure than ever of a few things:

I KNOW beyond a shadow of a doubt that I (that Steve and I together) are called to love deeply, to live humbly and justly, to sacrifice bravely. I am called to love God, my husband, and the hurting and overlooked. I am called to live beyond myself, to go bravely where God calls me, to pour myself out for others. I am called to defend the most vulnerable, speak up for those without a voice, use every breath and every blessing God has given me to further His Kingdom. I am called to take the hurting in my arms. To pray, to weep as Christ wept and then act in faith, boldly using all He has given me to share about the hope we have in Christ and to further His redemption where He places me. I am called to live simply, to live differently, to follow Christ's example and bring a little more of the Kingdom to come to earth now. I am called to address the deeper, systemic injustices that lead to a lot of the pain and inequality we see. I am called to foster and adopt. I am called to further holiness and beauty around me. Wherever God puts us, wherever we go and whatever stage we're at in life, we can know we are called to live for more - to seek more of Christ and become more like Him, to reflect glimpses of heaven to the world around us, to point people toward Hope.

I have moments where I'm really sad when I think about leaving our community, our friends and family who love us so well, and the comfort we have here in DC. But we know from the past few years that following God's calling is often really hard - it causes us to go where we are stretched and pushed beyond what we could ever do on our own. Following Christ "is a life of constant interruptions" (as Bob Goff says). We are called to go where He asks, for the sake of the Cross. We are called to live as He lived and love as he loved - and this might mean discomfort at times. It WILL mean constant interruptions, constantly being pushed out of our comfort zones. But we also know this is where He is seen most in our lives, where we are made more like him and taken from "glory to glory." So we go - to Colorado now, who knows for how long, seeking to love boldly and passionately each step of the way, and trusting God for the rest.

Family and friends, thank you for being so supportive as we've discerned what's next for us. It's so hard to think about moving away from many of you, but we know the relationships we have will last a lifetime, and our network is now just expanding across the country :) So come visit - or join us...

"Intimacy with God may require leaving our comfort zones."

- Joanna Weaver

"The greatest thing is, at any moment, to be willing to give up who we are in order to become all that we can become."
- Max De Pree

Believing in the resurrection more than the darkness

My parents and Stephen's parents generously took us to the beach for vacation last week, during which I was able to spend some much-needed time resting and reflecting. I was able to spend a lot of time praying through why I've felt so heavy lately - so burdened. Burdened to the point of sickness and depression - even though I have a wonderful husband, wonderful friends, and genuinely feel that I am living the way God has called me to live and doing what He has called me to do.

But I just feel so deeply sometimes, and it's overwhelming. My heart hurts for the broken and hurting and lonely so much that I feel sick to my stomach many days. There are days I succumb to what Satan wants - to trying not to care or feel compassion because it just hurts too much. But as my husband and others close to me remind me, my "deep feels" are from Christ. This is Christ. We are not called to feel compassion and do justice because it is popular or good. Feeling compassion and desiring justice are things that all followers of Christ should feel because this is what Christ felt. This is his very heart. So it is good that God has been molding my heart to feel more as his feels. Christ wept for others and was sick at heart for this world, so I should be too.

But - I am often downtrodden in a way Christ wasn't. And from looking at his example, it's become clear to me why: while Christ acknowledged the very real power of Satan in this world and wept over it, he also always acknowledged God's stronger power, and drew on this power to actively push back the darkness around him.

And as I am called to be like Christ in all ways, I am called to be like him in this way also. This is the answer to the weight in my heart. I MUST believe in God's power as much as I believe in the darkness I see all around me. Christ believed in this power and changed the world with his life, his death and his resurrection. And with his resurrection he passed on the power of life over death to all who believe. The power of his resurrection is stronger than Satan's darkness.

The power of evil is real, yes - and it is heartbreaking. As Christ wept over it, we should weep. But Christ also fought this evil with His every word and action and finally defeated it with His death and resurrection. And this same power lives in us - so this means we can defeat the darkness too. We just must believe in his power. The same power that defeated all evil once and for all and raised Christ to life is the same power I am called to draw on today. Amazing. If I truly believe the resurrection is real, it changes everything.

I can get off my knees after weeping and act with faith in God's power. I can act to further Christ's justice and redemption in the world with the knowledge that God WILL move and WILL win in the end. Our work is not in vain. He is at work in us and through us and around us to make all things new, and He will bring His good work to completion. We may not see it everyday, but Light is winning.

As I start to feel the sick feeling of darkness creeping over me, I need only follow the example of the father in Luke chapter 9 did: "I do believe; help me overcome my unbelief."

I can pray fervently, then get off my knees and walk in the resurrection power of Christ, crushing the darkness with each step I take.

"In him was life, and that life was the light of all mankind. The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it."

-John 1:4-5

His holiness and his humanity

Over the next couple days, we see Christ's humanity - his sadness, his loneliness, as well as his boldness, his courage, his compassion. Every year, Maundy Thursday and Good Friday show me more of Christ, and I come to love him even more. We see his bravery and his deep, selfless love. We see him choose to wash his disciples' feet as he prepares for death. We see him cry out for another way, but choose to die for us anyway despite his fear. His reality and the reality of what he has done for us hits me in a new way each year at this time. And, as usual, there is a specific passage from the Narnia chronicles that comes to mind:

"Please - Aslan,” said Lucy, “can anything be done to save Edmund?”
“All shall be done,” said Aslan. “But it may be harder than you think.” And then he was silent again for some time. Up to that moment Lucy had been thinking how royal and strong and peaceful his face looked; now it suddenly came into her head that he looked sad as well. But next minute that expression was quite gone. The Lion shook his mane and clapped his paws together ("Terrible paws," thought Lucy, "if he didn't know how to velvet them!") -The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe


http://rebloggy.com/post/mine-lucy-pevensie-screencaps-aslan-movie-the-lion-the-witch-and-the-wardrobe-m/31544441340


Tonight and tomorrow the heavens will be silent, remembering what Christ has done for the world. And I with them. Then on Sunday we will rejoice in the REALITY that Christ has risen and is making all things new:

"...he fell with his face to the ground and prayed, 'My Father, if it is possible, may this cup be taken from me. Yet not as I will, but as you will.'" (Matt 26:39)

“...when Jesus knew that his hour had come to depart out of this world to the Father, having loved his own who were in the world, he loved them to the end.” (John 13:1)

“And he who was seated on the throne said, ‘Behold, I am making all things new.’” (Rev. 21:5)

It makes me ANGRY - and I think it should.

“I don’t believe the theology of our adoption requires us all to adopt, but it does expect us all to at least consider the possibility of it.” (Jason Johnson)

I agree so strongly with this - but I would go a step further and add that the theology of our adoption in Christ DOES require us all to care about and be involved in adoption here on this earth in SOME way. Stephen and I are among those who do feel called to adopt, and through this past year as we’ve explored that and been in a situation where we almost fostered a little boy, it brought me to tears many times seeing how friends and members of my community - who don’t necessarily have that same calling - stepped up to support Steve and me in so many ways. Everyone is called to care for the fatherless, for vulnerable, hurting children in some way. Everyone. If we don't feel called to adopt ourselves (and not everyone is), we ARE still called to support and promote this issue that is close to God’s heart. Whether through mentoring a child in the foster care system, supporting a family who has just adopted by cooking them dinners, providing resources for birth parents, advocating for policies that support vulnerable children and families....whatever it is, our theology of adoption requires us ALL to be involved in adoption on this earth in some way.

It makes me angry – and I think it should – that adoption is not a COMMON aspect of our church cultures, our communities. We are charged with bringing more of Christ into our world, with furthering His kingdom on this earth – and adoption is a crucial aspect of this. It is actually an injustice, unbiblical, that more churches aren't talking about this, and that more families aren't asking if this is a call God has given them – and if it’s not, that we then aren’t asking in what ways God IS calling us to show his heart for adoption. We must be talking about adoption, how it is an integral part of our faith, and how it should be a normal, integral part of our communities....or else we’re wrong.

I am thankful to be a part of a church and community where this calling to care for the fatherless is common knowledge. To learn more about this call and what part God might be calling you to play, check out DC127.org for some resources.

Hope

The concept of hope has been on my mind a lot the past couple years. Especially this past year. Seeing the brokenness of families, of our government institutions, seeing the anger of broken men, seeing children growing up with absolutely no dreams, no hope....it is hard for ME to have any hope a lot of days. For those of us who are deep feelers especially, it is really, really hard to feel deep compassion and not feel deep despair at the same time.

But God keeps whispering "hope" to me...at the same time that I've been feeling despair like never before, I've also felt more hopeful than ever before, almost within minutes of each other. Because of what Christ has done, I have hope that can rescue me from the despair. Out of all the beliefs in all the world, Christ is the only God who ever made himself man so that he could feel our despair, weep with us in it, and then die so we would not have to stay in it. With his death and resurrection, He defeated despair and the evil that causes it - and one day he will return and make all things as they should be. Even NOW, he is working through his Spirit in us and all around us to advance His goodness and His justice, to spread His Kingdom. He is beauty and glory and light, and he brings joy and excitement and HOPE. He is the answer to the kids all around me who have no hope. We can have hope because he HAS changed everything, and is changing everything even now. Rather than letting despair win, we can tell the kids in our schools and our friends and our neighbors that they can dream and they can HOPE.

"May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that by the power of the Holy Spirit you may abound in hope." (Romans 15:13)

Thanks to Tim Willard for his devotional today that spoke a lot to this theme:

"We are children of the Wind...Lord Jesus, Let us not give in to a culture of cynicism and nonchalance, but recapture the romance, glory, and joy of our faith - belief that flies us home, belief that sails us into the beyond."