Control

As humans it is our nature to control. We want to control our lives and plan and do what we think is best. But to truly live the lives we were created to live, we have to do the opposite of control. We have to surrender. If you have control you don’t have to have any faith. And can you know Christ without faith? Therefore by trying to control, you are not truly trusting and having faith in Christ. And I’ve realized: this is me. I want to do this and say that and be this certain person. Even if I have good intentions, it is nothing in God’s eyes. I am nothing. Christ is everything. He is greater than I can even imagine yet I dare to think that my plan could be better than his. That my way will be more pleasing to God’s than His. He can not even look at me unless Christ is covering me. Yet I do not rely on this grace - I continue to rely on my own strength simply because I want control. And this is why He breaks us. We have to be broken of this control and this pride in our human nature and stripped bare and brought to our knees to realize that our works are nothing. That nothing good comes from us. That it is by the grace of God we are saved and it is by His grace we stand and live. We fall over and over and hurt others and hurt ourselves and make a mess of the world when we try to control, when we live by our own plan. We are nothing except in Christ. Our purpose is being recreated in Him to do the will God has for us. I am on my face right now, stripped down to nothing. Everything I have, even my identity in being a Christian, is stripped away, because I was using all of it. It was all me, my control, my purpose twisting God and what He has given me to fulfill my plan and my vision. But all that brought me was pain and failure and not what I had in mind. No matter how good the intentions, if Christ is not in control, not the center, then you fall. It hurts, but God loves us so He strips us of anything we have to rely on but Him. The cross is heavy but it is the only thing we need to cling to. Only when God is the center, when He has control is life RIGHT. We need to be stripped of our purposes, of our control, so He can make us the people He created us to be. It goes against our human nature, but we need to give up. Then will we truly LIVE.