"For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known." (1 Cor. 13:12)
Brooke and I connected instantly when we met at church in DC five years ago. She was even more passionate, even more of a visionary, even more of a big thinker than me...she affirmed how God made me, encouraged it, spurred it on. She encouraged me when I was broken up by the dark things of the world, when we weren't able to change our city in a day like I thought we would :) ,when the biggest injustices in our world and the smaller heartbreaks in my personal life caused me to doubt the love of our God. She was a co-conspirator, launching several different outreach ministries at our church, giving me advice and guidance that I desperately needed at that time. She boldly plunged in to some of the darkest areas of our city, leading an anti-trafficking group through our church that addressed head-on some of the biggest evils we'll see in this world.
All this while having walked through more darkness than I've ever experienced, and while beginning to enter it again. I was constantly humbled and inspired by her selflessness, by her focus on others, by her passionate love for the hurting and commitment to give all she had to this world while she was here. I was always so humbled by the fact that you wouldn't know she had fought cancer, or was fighting it again, unless you looked closely - Brooke continued to fight darkness, destroy evil, and serve her Savior with every second she had. I remember driving her up to NYC when she had to get her skin cancer removed - which resulted in a huge hole in her forehead, something that would have caused anger and embarrassment and frustration from most other women I know (including myself). And while I know Brooke wrestled with those emotions for sure, my memories from that trip are almost completely ones of laughter, deep conversations, and dreaming about changing the world...she was funny, sarcastic, laughing about her face, asking about me....while also engaging at points in some serious theological questions, that always ended at the same place of deep trust in her Maker.
And when the cancer re-appeared last year....sadness, anger, frustration also appeared, yes. But again - anytime I went to see her, it was this combination of frank questions with deep faith, of sadness with joy, of laughter with sorrow. Brooke never stopped asking about ME, never stopped planning how she would address the bigger systemic injustices all around us in our city, never stopped engaging the hard questions about our God while openly professing her trust in his love for her.
I have yet to meet someone else who was as selfless, as fierce, as brave, as wise, as hilarious in the face of such pain and tragedy. And just in general. Selfishly, I am so, so sad - I will miss this friend, my co-conspirator, a mentor and world-changer. But like Brooke, I BELIEVE in the beautiful plans of our God, and know he used her to change this world powerfully while she was here - she truly did not waste a minute. She is an example for all of us....she saw the face of Christ "in part," and ran wholeheartedly after him and all he had for her. And now, I know she is standing in his presence, seeing him "in full, even as she is fully known." And I know she is still running wholeheartedly after him, making her Savior laugh and passionately joining with him in his work in the Kingdom.
"I have come home at last! This is my real country! I belong here. This is the land I have been looking for all my life...The dream is ended; this is the morning..." (CS Lewis, The Last Battle)
If you want to read more about my amazing friend, take a minute to read this beautifully written blog by another friend of Brooke's - it expresses so well who she was. Who she IS:
"Brooke wanted to change the world. Literally. Not just as a cliche platitude. So she did. She changed everyone she came in contact with...She made you think. She made you laugh. She made you feel loved...She was so tender. But so fierce. This world wasn’t meant to stay the same if you lived in it. That was her mindset. Let’s make a plan. Let’s go. Let’s shift things and get uncomfortable. She was so rich in thought, and so antsy to make things better, more efficient, more thriving.
... She understood suffering. And out of her suffering, she was raw and scathingly honest. But she believed. She believed He did what He did. Didn’t like it, but didn’t deny it. And God was not thwarted by her volume. He loved her through it. Adored her. Understood her pain. Grieved with her. Remained by her side. And welcomed her, His sweet feisty world-shoving beloved, by holding her and wiping every tear from her eyes."
"What if 'brave' is more about surrender than bravado? ...what’s more brave than hoping against odds? In choosing beauty amidst ashes, don’t we bring resurrection into our death shadow days?" (Brooke)
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